i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
