I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
