And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize