Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
