Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
