ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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