i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
