You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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