my phone needs a breathalizer
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
