Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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