she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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