you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Life is so much better after having sex.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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