I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
