sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i've created a new STD.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
