Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
