you would pick up someone in the library
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
