I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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