Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
