i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
