Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
