We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
