Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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