butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
