I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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