It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
