I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
