i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
