your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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