ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
