I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
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