So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
