Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
