How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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