Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
