i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
