This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
