doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
