I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
3pm strippers are depressing
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
