He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
