when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
