You're completely useless in the revolution.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
