At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
