feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
