I looked at my own cervix.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
