you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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