Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
