We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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