we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
