Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
