Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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