She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
