Do you still have your period?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
