I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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