i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
