Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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