I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
