I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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