just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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