so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
