her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
