remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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