so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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