Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
