That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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