I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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