I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
