So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
