You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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