Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
