i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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