just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
